then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think people are normalizing furries
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
