i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
