did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
