just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
