we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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