If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
