Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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