Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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