Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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