2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
