I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
