I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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