ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Randomize
