If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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