I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
