so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
