Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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