all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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