You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
