After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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