She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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