I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
