GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
