But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
