Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
