Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When are your genitals available?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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