also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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