weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize