I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
