i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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