I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Found your dick twin last night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
