His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
