Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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