you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
