guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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