ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
