I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
