he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
