He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize