I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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