Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
