I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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