He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just had sex on a roof
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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