yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
