Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
