new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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