talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
