I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
