We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
