Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
