yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
