can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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