if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
