Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
