There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
