I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
A+ Viking dick
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
