i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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