so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
