So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We left the knife in your bed.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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